I wouldn't say I'm the biggest Whitney Houston fan. But if you were a kid when I was a kid, you heard her everywhere. Because damn, the woman could sing! And unlike a lot of divas, her voice wasn't annoying. It was alluring, downright amazing.
The last two weeks, there's been a lot of posting Whitney clips to Facebook and mourning her loss.
But one thing's been nagging at me. How does the woman who brought us to tears singing, "I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way..." end up a junkie??
Unlike Amy Winehouse (and countless others), she wasn't always a train wreck. She didn't seem to come from a messed up family.
It's been nagging at me, so I checked her background on Wikipedia. She was discovered early on by Clive Davis. She grew up singing in the church which was a big part of her upbringing in a middle class Christian family. Whitney is one of those rare examples where the label actually developed her talent -- sat on it for awhile while she could study with the best teachers and they could find her the right songs, producer, material.
And her career continued to build over years. After the '80s, there were still a handful of hits, her role in the Bodyguard. Whitney didn't seem fake and she didn't seem broken -- that was part of her appeal.
So what happened?
I don't own a TV; I didn't watch Whitney devolve in front of our eyes, live on the air with Bobby. But I heard about it. Everyone did.
I can tell you I wasn't surprised when she died at 48 of a heart attack. For some, Whitney's death came out of nowhere. Not for me. Isn't this what rampant drug use does to your organs?
I went to a party Friday night and danced to "How Will I Know?" Then I sat there ruminating not just on how great Whitney was, but on how she let us down. Nobody's talking about this. But she was the voice of a generation, and she had the potential to be a leader, a role model for a generation too.
But she turned her back on us, and on herself. Why???
Well, my friend Cami found this on a UK blog yesterday. And perhaps here's our answer.
Whitney's REAL tragedy was giving up her greatest love of all - her female partner Robyn Crawford
20th February 2012
I met Whitney and her female partner at the Reach Out & Touch HIV vigil in London in 1991.
Whitney spoke movingly in support of people with HIV, at a time when many other stars kept their distance. Her support was much valued.
She advocated the welfare and human rights of people with HIV. It was a commendable stand.
Hugs: Whitney, (left) with Bobby Brown, mother Cissy and (right) Robyn Crawford who many believe to be her one true love
I have, in the past, declined to name Whitney’s female partner. But most of the media have since named her as Robyn Crawford.
When I met them, it was obvious they were madly in love. Their intimacy and affection was so sweet and romantic.
They held hands in the back of the car like teenage sweethearts. Clearly more than just friends, they were a gorgeous couple and so happy together. To see their love was infectious and uplifting.
Whitney was happiest and at the peak of her career when she was with Robyn. Sadly, she suffered family and church pressure to end her greatest love of all.
She was fearful of the effects that lesbian rumours might have on her family, reputation and career. Eventually she succumbed. The result? A surprise marriage to Bobby Brown.
The marriage was a disaster. Bad boy Bobby was never her true soul mate. Giving up Robyn – they’d been inseparable for years – must have been emotionally traumatic.
Whitney’s life started going downhill soon afterwards. Previously wholesome and clean-living, she went on drink-and-drug binges – evidence of a troubled personal life and much unhappiness.
It seems likely that the split with Robyn contributed to her substance abuse and decline.
There is a known correlation between denial of one’s sexuality and a propensity to self-destructive behaviour. Homophobia undoubtedly added to the pressures on Whitney and hastened her demise.
Soon after her very sad death, I was quoted as saying that Whitney was happiest when she loved a woman. Some fans accused me of ‘insulting’ and ‘smearing’ her.
You can read the whole article here:
Whitney's demise seemed to coincide with her leaving her lover, Robyn. See her family told her it would ruin her. Her church told her it would ruin her. And most frightening of all, perhaps, the music industry of the '80s & '90s said it would ruin her.
So she let the shame and silence and giving up who she really was, or who really loved, eat her from the inside out.
It's too bad she didn't believe more in the message of her own music.
"The Greatest Love of All" is still my favorite Whitney song. It always will be.
Watch her sing it here: http://youtu.be/gvPYXHM94DQ
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